Life Imitates Art
by kakashis-porn-stash
Summary: Sakura, Kakashi and movie theater smut in three acts. (For KakaSaku Week '16, Day 5: Movie AU.)


_Sakura, Kakashi and movie theater smut in three acts. (For KakaSaku Week '16, Day 5: Movie AU.)_ _Because I can't help but imagine that Kakashi is a talker during movies, and this is what happens when he gets to watch porn in public...I blame Denilmo for all of it. Thanks for the brilliant Dimigex for editing._

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 **Life Imitates Art**

 **-1-**

It's an otherwise ordinary afternoon when Kakashi stops dead in his tracks and drops his groceries on the ground, sending cans and produce flying everywhere. There's a poster up advertising a new movie downtown, and his heart starts to pound when he sees a woman in a bikini being chased by a rouge ninja. He can recognize that image from anywhere.

Icha. Icha. Paradise. _The movie._ It's finally coming to theaters this Friday on a limited release. After he gathers his groceries, the first thing Kakashi does is text Sakura with the good news.

 _'Icha Icha movie - you + me, Friday?'_ Kakashi rereads at his message a few times, then reconsiders and adds a few hearts for good measure before he sends it. (He has a knack for being persuasive, and he knows how to use it). He waits in anticipation as he walks home, listening for the telltale chime of a text alert.

It's not until he's in the middle of making dinner that Sakura replies: _'Can't you ask Genma?'_ Granted, Genma probably would enjoy it, but he already refused to ever see another movie with Kakashi again.

 _'Oh, Genma...he was attacked by a bear on his last mission,'_ Kakashi fibs, unashamed of how brazen it is. He's desperate, and he only hopes she'll have mercy on him. _'Won't be out of hospital for weeks. Besides, I'd rather take a hot date.'_ He sends her a few winking faces because he simply can't help himself.

Ten minutes later, she gives in. _'Only if you buy my ticket.'_

Kakashi is elated. _'Of course,'_ he replies. _'I wouldn't be a gentlemen otherwise.'_

 **-2-**

When Friday night finally rolls around, Sakura meets him at Ichiraku and then they head off to the late night show. It's on the seedier side of town, unsurprisingly, and Kakashi is a bit thankful that they don't see anyone they know before they head inside. After all, he has his reputation as the Rokudaime to uphold, but that doesn't mean he can't enjoy some good old fashioned smut. His heart soars at the idea of Jiraiya's greatest work finally hitting the silver screen.

"Isn't this exciting?" Kakashi asks, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. As he buys their tickets, she notices that the lobby is virtually empty and looks like it's in need of a good cleaning.

Um...sure," Sakura mutters. She's never stepped foot in an X-rated movie theater in her life, but she sure as hell knows she won't be back. They stand in line to get popcorn, then go to theater #7; unsurprisingly, it's also deserted.

"Kakashi..." Sakura begins, eyeing the empty theater. "What kind of reviews did this get, anyway? I mean, I'm not expecting it to be a masterpiece, but does it have a plot at all?"

"Don't worry. Really, I think you'll enjoy it," Kakashi reassures her. Honestly, he has no idea if she'll find it remotely interesting, but he's too giddy to care. Sakura sighs and sits down next to him in the back row. When the lights fall, she settles back in her seat and mentally prepares herself to be bombarded with breasts for the next hour and a half. (The things we do for those we love...)

To Sakura's surprise, the first half hour of the movie is lacking in substance — and ass. There isn't much going on, really, and now she knows why the show didn't sell out. Sakura finds herself staring at the ceiling, feigning interest in case he looks over but hoping that the clock will tick a little faster. Kakashi, on the other hand, is completely engrossed in the film.

They're only 45 minutes in when it all goes downhill.

The two central characters are finally close to getting it on. Suzuka, the film's heroine, is a budding actress from a ninja clan trying to escape being kidnapped by the evil, horny nukenin she's arranged to marry. The nukenin, named Shin, has her cornered in her bedroom, which he managed to sneak into with the use of his astute ninja skills (and stunt double). Now, he's using his flat blade to cut open the front of her skimpy dress.

But this isn't what happened in the original story. Kakashi feels a prickle of annoyance as he observes the growing number of differences compared to the Icha Icha novel. In fact, he's so exasperated that he can't help but mention it to Sakura.

"Do you see that?" Kakashi murmurs, looking visibly vexed as he points toward the screen.

"Huh?" Sakura whispers.

Kakashi leans in a little closer. "See what's happening here? Suzuka doesn't trip and fall constantly. She's far better at evading his advances — her father was a ninja. How disappointing," Kakashi sighs beneath his breath. Sakura is tempted to laugh, but then she realizes they're missing a key scene in the movie. While she was looking at Kakashi, the heroine already got captured.

"Um, Kakashi—"

"And there — in the novel, Shin actually blindfolds Suzuka before he so much as touches her. It's that subtle nuance that creates a real sense of danger. I wanted to tell you so you don't think it's a terrible story." Kakashi can't help but feel it's his personal duty to defend the honor of his beloved franchise.

Sakura sighs. They've only been seeing each other for a month, and this is the first time they've ever seen a movie together. In all honesty, she finds it incredibly obnoxious that he insists on critiquing it when he should be watching.

"Well, let's just find out what happens next." Sakura smiles stiffly and offers him popcorn in hopes that he'll eat some and shut up. Unfortunately, he's too absorbed in cutting up the poor cinematography to notice. She sighs and sinks into her seat as Kakashi tries not to reel with disappointment. He wonders what Jiraiya would've thought at seeing his novel end up so poorly adapted. Then again, there's a reason they always say the movie can never compete with the book.

An interesting idea crosses his mind. Maybe it's the low lighting that does it; maybe it's how cute Sakura looks in her pleated skirt and blouse (and, not to mention that he noticed fifteen minutes ago that her nipples are hard from the draft); or maybe it's the fact that they're sitting together in a softcore porn flick. Regardless of the reason, it strikes him that he should take advantage of the empty theater and do Icha Icha some poetic justice.

 **-3-**

When Kakashi lowers the arm rest and moves his hand up her skirt, Sakura nearly drops the popcorn.

"Kakashi!" Sakura hisses, cheeks turning red. "What are you doing?"

Kakashi watches the screen with an intense look of concentration. "I'm simply showing you what should have happened," he whispers, tracing circles on her inner thigh. Sakura inhales sharply as his fingers skim the outline of her panties.

"W…well, can't you wait to show me later?" Sakura stammers and sets the popcorn down, though she doesn't make any effort to close her legs. Evidently, he either doesn't hear her or doesn't care, because he takes his other hand and squeezes her breast. She gasps, bites her lip as he squeezes her nipple through her shirt; her eyes dart to the door, heart racing.

"Now, here, you'll see that Shin is already slipping two fingers inside of Suzuka," Kakashi observes, "but in the novel, he makes sure that she's properly relaxed first." He traces two fingers along the length of her slit, uses his free hand to pull down his mask so he can kiss her neck.

"But—" Sakura bites back a tiny gasp as he presses down on her clit, the silky fabric of her panties providing a delicious feeling of friction.

"What if someone comes in?" Sakura mumbles. "What…what if someone…" But her mind goes blank when Kakashi shoves the fabric aside and slides her clit in between his fingers. Her knuckles turn white as she grabs the edge of her seat. On the screen, Shin grabs Suzuka's hair as they start to fuck, and Sakura releases a breathy moan when she inevitably imagines Kakashi doing the same to her.

"It's a shame that they neglected showing Shin's favorite technique," he mutters, sounding personally offended.

"What technique?" Sakura breathes, eyes glazed over, mouth dry.

"Oh, just this", Kakashi replies, curls two fingers up inside her cunt and starts rubbing hard — and she jolts when he finds that spot that makes her see stars. Her mouth goes slack and her lower back arches when Kakashi's thumb parts her folds and moves in sync with his fingers. For every few thrusts, he draws his thumb across her clit in rapid little circles before he backs off. After all, Suzuka hasn't even come yet, and he's ever the perfectionist.

Sakura rocks her hips into his touch, thighs trembling, and it doesn't take long before she feels the beginnings of orgasm coiling in her belly. She glances over and sees Kakashi is no longer watching the movie; his eyes are dark with desire and trained only on her, his cock straining in his pants. She looks beautiful bathed in the glow of the screen and he can't help but kiss her. She whines into his mouth and she's so painfully close that she can hardly stand it.

"Stop teasing me already," she very nearly begs, toes curling at the conflicting pleasure-pain of his fingers undoing her, her clit swollen and aching. "I—" She cuts herself off with a short, jagged moan. "I...I need to come!"

And even though Suzuka isn't quite at her peak yet (Kakashi blames the underdeveloped actor more than the poor direction, really), he can't resist her when she asks so sweetly. He shoves her bra aside and tweaks her nipple, presses down harder on her clit. She's warm and slick around his fingers and he imagines bending her over the seat right now and fucking her just as she falls over the edge and spasms around him.

"That's it," Kakashi murmurs, thrusting a little faster. "Come for me." His breath is hot against her ear and his touch, the way he demands it of her, it's all too much. Her climax slams into her and her mind goes blank as she arches off the seat, gasps and pulses around him. She struggles to catch her breath as she comes down.

Kakashi leans over and kisses her. It's all tongue and teeth and her fingers are in his hair, and all she can think about is how hard he is for her and how she _really_ wants to get out of here before they end up humping on a dirty, sticking floor. Suzuka suddenly lets out a ridiculous, contrived moan and it's all so funny that she can't help but break the kiss with a laugh.

"You know, you really put her to shame," Kakashi muses, glancing at the actress onscreen.

Sakura squeezes him through his pants, gives him a teasing smile. "Just wait until we get home."


End file.
